What if we focused more on what our kids need and less on what we want?

What if we focused more on what our kids need and less on what we want?What if we focused more on what our kids need and less on what we want?

 

What if we focused more on what our kids need and less on what we want?

 

As I move through this journey of becoming a mindful parent I’m shocked at what I learn about myself.

 

My daughter was recently showing me how she rearranged her Barbie house. She put the babies room here and the beds there and the couch over here etc. As she was talking Im also paying attention to my inner world that’s telling me it would all be better if she did it another way. 

 

Thankfully I said nothing. 

 

Instead I asked myself; “Why the hell do I care?” and went on just enjoying the moment. 

 

I reflected on this realization, as I often do, because I wonder what is it about. 

I realized that I have this internal reaction often. For example when my son builds something out of LEGO and my initial internal reaction is “it would be better if…”. 

 

Why Do I Do This?

The only rationale I can come up with is that I just want to be right. Wanting to show them a “better” way is entirely about my ego. It’s me selfishly  needing to be the center of attention instead of taking a passenger seat and letting them lead.

 

I began to wonder

 

What if we focused more on what our kids need and less on what we want?

 

How can I simply just enjoy the moment and stop trying to mess with everything? The key to this for me has been getting into the habit of checking in with myself.

 

Im trying to simply listen and get onboard with their process. To support their interests and enjoy their enjoyment.

 

Seriously how do I feel when people in my life constantly try to correct what I’m doing? It’s frustrating! My parents still do this to me and it drives me nuts. 

 

The truth is that what my kids are doing in moments like these doesn’t need to make sense to me. It needs to make sense to them. If my goal is to make my kids capable, confident, and accountable shouldn’t I step back and let them lead?

 

That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t give feed back, just perhaps not all the time. 

 

Let’s let them lead and show US what makes sense to THEM.

 

 

My Question For You Is?

If this is something you find yourself doing I challenge you to ask yourself why you do it. Is it a fear of failure, is it a need to be right, is it a fear of not being needed? What is it that compels you to react this way? What if we focused more on what our kids need and less on what we want?

 

If we often claim to value leadership and individuality why crush it while its being expressed?

 

I want to be free to express myself and be heard, shouldn’t my children expect the same?

 

I hope this helps. 

 

Happy dadding everyone. 

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