What if we gave our kids the experience of being understood?

What if we gave our kids the experience of being understood?

What if we gave our kids the experience of being understood?

What if we gave our kids the experience of being understood?

 

You may have read on my ABOUT PAGE that I have a career in sales.

As a sales person I spend a ton of time engaging my customers in an effort to ensure they feel understood. Not just to understand me. I ask them questions about their customers their day to day and their pain points. Yes i want to sell them a product but only if/when its beneficial to them. This is something Im passionate about and I take it very seriously.

 

So What if we gave our kids the experience of being understood? If it works for my customers why not my for my kids? Consider that I often want to illicit some new behavior in my clients, its the same with my kids. 

 

I want to be a resource to my clients and that’s the same with my kids. 

 

I want my customers to respect me which is also true for my children. 

 

So considering all of these similarities why can the approach be so varied?

 

If I’m successful as a sales person why not apply these skills to being a parent? 

 

 

What am I suggesting?

The key to selling anything is listening. Think of a time when you had an encounter with a sales person and they just didn’t listen to what you wanted/needed. It can be frustrating and the joy and productivity of that experience quickly disappears.

 

I believe it’s the same thing with our kids. You were little once. Think of a time when you tried to convey something that was important to you to a parent or guardian and it was met with a lack of understanding. Maybe you were completely dismissed maybe you were made to feel wrong or ashamed. If this happened enough times did you still trust that person?

 

Was there someone in your life who did make you feel understood? Someone who actually listened to you? Who was that person for you? For me it was my maternal grandmother Phyllis. I would do anything she asked of me because I felt loved and respected by her. I felt understood.

 

What do I want?

If I want those responses from my kids (and customers), then I need to ensure their needs are met. Like Dr Stephen R Covey said in “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”. “Seek first to understand THEN be understood”

 

I really believe if I’m to give someone the experience of being understood then I first need to check in with myself. Then I can give my full attention to my kid, customer, wife, friend, whomever. Then I can give them the experience of being understood. They can feel cared for and supported. Now we can work together. Now we have forged respect along with understanding. Now we can work on anything, together. Doesn’t that feel better than trying to constantly battle someone you love?

 

I hope this helps. If you like my blog you might like my BOOK

 

Happy Dadding everyone.

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